Subtle Reminders

I’m always surprised when certain subtle events occur that seem to bludgeon my emotional well-being to remind me that I am still grieving.

This past week I was delivering to a retirement community. As I was driving through I saw an older couple, probably in their 80’s walking out of the main recreation center for this community. They were holding hands and talking. It would have been obvious to any observer that the man was genuinely interested in what the woman had to say. She was his queen and even at…however many of years together, they still loved each other and enjoyed the other's companionship. I couldn’t help but think, that was supposed to be Rebecca and I.

Now I’m certain that should I decide to remarry that I will take whomever I chose and treat them as my queen and love them as they should be. However, I can’t help but always think of Rebecca. We had such a great friendship that even when we faced difficulties at home we could often laugh and just enjoy being with one another. She was a dear friend and I can honestly say that during our 9 years of marriage, I never tired of her. I always found her deeply fascinating and looked forward to exploring new thoughts and ideas together. That friendship is what I worry most about finding again. It felt so unique and perfect that I wonder if it can be duplicated. Our personalities were just a wonderful union.